Today marks 5 weeks since I’ve been ‘isolating’ at home. My home consists of 350 square feet in a tiny, ancient studio apartment that is mostly filled with good light and friendly plants. It’s not so bad considering that when I live at South Pole, my personal space is only 15-20 % of what I have here. It felt palatial at first but I have to admit that the walls are starting to close in. The light makes me want to rush outside and see what’s going on, take a few photos, wander the city. The plants need siblings, but that will have to wait.
Life has become narrow, ever watching out the windows and wishing to participate in life again. I was an obsessive numbers watcher at the beginning of all this. The first time I looked there were 93,000 people infected around the world. Five weeks later we’re at 2.2 million people, knowing there are probably many more that haven’t been able to be tested. I can’t look at the numbers anymore. I lost interest and had to turn away when they became unfathomable. If felt a little hard to breathe looking at the death tolls and imagining how many people are now longer with us, how many families will grieve forever.
I know that the best I can do is be kind to those that need it, press forward with my work, learn some new skills and will spring into existence through my windows. I’m trying to do all of those things but it’s hard to focus, hard to press forward when so much is unknown about so many things.
For now, we all continue to wait. And I wonder when it’s all said and done, perhaps a year from now, or whenever, if we will even remember these days and how strange they feel.
Be safe my friends. I hope to see you all back in the world again soon…
